


"arrogant boy, love yourself so no one has to. they're better off without you"

by ashxlou



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Depression, Fluff, Lashton - Freeform, M/M, Self Harm, i love lashton sorry, may be triggering so be careful i love you, trigger warning probably
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-17
Updated: 2014-03-17
Packaged: 2018-01-16 01:17:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 997
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1326334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ashxlou/pseuds/ashxlou
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ashton is sad<br/>but Luke makes him happy</p><p> </p><p>title is from Therapy by All Time Low</p>
            </blockquote>





	"arrogant boy, love yourself so no one has to. they're better off without you"

**Author's Note:**

> this may be triggering so  
> yeah
> 
> ily

He stared at himself in the mirror, not at all liking what he saw. He does this every day. He just stands there, looking at every flaw.  
He doesn't tell anyone about these moments in front of the mirror, and he doesn't tell anyone about the moments all alone in the bathroom in the middle of the night either.  
 _'Cause no one cares_. That's what he tells himself.  
But people do care.  
If he would tell someone they would help him.  
But Ashton refuses to tell anyone.  
He doesn't want to.  
After standing in front of the mirror for about twenty minutes he walks towards the bathroom.  
He checks twice to make sure no one's awake, but everyone's sleeping.  
He closes the door quietly and sits down on the cold, hard floor.  
He hasn't even noticed the tears until now.  
This always happens. He always does this and he always cry. No matter how hard he tries not to. This has been going on for about a week.  
He goes to the bathroom, sits down, thinks for a while then goes back to bed.  
 _"If I could just end it all now I would be happier. Everyone would be happier."_  
That's his thoughts. Every single night.  
But it doesn't happen tonight either. He doesn't have the courage. And there's a voice in the back of his mind that keeps telling him that _he would be missed and that people would cry._ But Ashton still doesn't believe it.

 

The next morning he wakes up in his bed. Dried tears on his face, as usual. But something's different.  
There's someone beside him. Someone has their arm around his waist.  
He carefully turns around and when he sees who's next to him he almost screams.  
Luke is lying next to him.  
 _When the hell did he get here?_  
Ashton doesn't even bother to find out he just snuggles back against Luke and falls asleep again.

 

The next time he wakes up that morning Luke is already awake.  
"Morning" Luke mumbles as he looks at Ashton.  
"Morning" Ashton answers.  
Ashton tries to forget about the butterflies in his stomach but fails.

They both get up to get dressed and eat breakfast. And Ashton could've sworn he saw Michael and Calum wink at Luke when the two boys entered the kitchen.

"So Luke slept in your bed.." Calum says.  
Ashton turns towards him.  
"Yeah, he did. I don't know why or when he get there but... yeah.." He answers.

 

Two days later Ashton is still wondering, _why did Luke sleep in my bed?_  
Ashton tells himself that maybe he wanted someone to cuddle, or maybe he had a bad dream and just didn't want to sleep alone.  
But as always that voice in the back of his mind tells him different.  
 _But Ashton what if Luke likes you? Just the way you like him._  
But he decides to push those thoughts away instead.

 

(A/N: I think this next part is most triggering so if you don't want to read the don't. be careful ily)

The next day Ashton is home alone. The other guys decided to go out to some club and try to sneek Luke in.  
And of course since they're in London, they called Niall and he gladly excepted their offer when they asked if he wanted to join.  
But when Ashton is alone the thoughts start again. The bad ones.  
So now he's at the exact same place as the other day. Sitting on the cold bathroom floor.  
He slowly pulls his sleeve up and runs his fingers along the scars.  
 _A few more wouldn't hurt, right?_  
He gets up to get his razor blade then sits back down. He takes a deep breathe before he brings the blade down to his wrist. But before he can do anything-  
"Ash?"  
 _Shit._  
"Ash, where are you?"  
Luke's home.  
Ashton can hear the footsteps come closer and closer and before he can think the door flies open.  
Luke looks at him and smiles.  
"Oh, there you a-"  
His smile drops.  
 _Oh no no no no no._  
"A-ash wh-why are you....." Luke trails of.  
Ashton starts crying harder than he already was as he brings his knees up to his chest.  
Luke quickly kneels down in front of him to take the blade out of his hand.  
"I'm so sor-sorry Lukey" Ashton whispers.  
Luke hugs him. And he doesn't let go. He doesn't even let go when the other boys come home and he doesn't let go when Ashton falls asleep in his arms.

The next morning he wakes up in Luke's bed. And Ashton suddenly remembers everything that happened yesterday.  
"Ash?" A voice says.  
Ashton turns around to find Luke there. He smiles a bit when he sees Ashton's awake.  
"You okay?" He asks.  
Ashton just nods. It's to early to talk anyways.  
"Look, what happened yesterday... It scared me. I saw your arms and I saw your face. You looked so broken. I wish you would've told me earlier so I could've been there for you. I would've kissed your scars everyday and at least try to make you feel beautiful. 'Cause you are Ash. You're so damn beautiful and it hurts to know you don't think so."  
Ashton couldn't help it. he started crying. But this time it wasn't because of sadness it was because of the words Luke said. They hit him like a freaking brick to the face. To know that Luke cares enough to say all those things and do all the things he did yesterday was enough to make Ashton cry.  
"I love you Ashton. A lot." Luke said as he carefully leaned in.  
Ashton's heart felt like it went from broken to fixed right there 'cause Luke carefully put his lips on Ashton's. And of course Ashton kissed him back almost instantly.  
Ashton pulled away for a second only to whisper.  
"I love you, Luke. So much more than you'll ever love me."


End file.
